I can’t even explain the rush of emotions that run through your mind, your heart, and your soul when you visit the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C. Being an emotional spirit, I knew I was going to have to prepare myself for the experience I was about to endure, but there isn’t anything you can do to prepare yourself for what you are about to hear, see, and feel. It is a transcending experience and one that will fill your soul with so many emotions that you almost feel numb.
As I walked out I had a million thoughts running through my mind. I reflected back to some lectures that I just recently listened to on Audible by Marianne Williamson and her teachings on the Course in Miracles. One of the teachings that she preaches is to live with love in our hearts instead of fear. I started reflecting on all the evil that occurred during World War II and how so much of it was perpetuated on peoples fear instead of Love. At the end of the tour there was a long video playing where they were interviewing survivors to hear the stories of what they endured. it was emotional to watch and the experiences they shared were painful to hear, but one speakers started to share messages of love. It baffled me that someone could go through such a traumatic and evil experience/pain and still be living with love & hope in her heart for people.
There was a quote on the wall that I took a picture of while in the museum (It was the only picture I could take while I was there, because I just didn’t feel right about flashing pictures with what I was witnessing/feeling). The quote was from Anne Frank:
“That’s the difficulty in these times; ideals, dreams, and cherished hopes rise within us, only to meet the horrible truth and be shattered. It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can’t build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death.”
Just Wow! There isn’t much else you can say other than “Wow.”
I went and sat down on a park bench next to the museum and I started to reflect on my own life. This idea of living with love in our hearts instead of fear overcame me.
How could I be living with so much fear in my heart and soul, when people went through this living hell and still have love in their hearts.
How could I feel so hopeless, when people have gone through so much worse and showcase so much hope.
On this journey, I have been working hard at allowing a certain individual space away from me to allow them to move on and away from the pain I caused them. I started off messaging everyday, often with fear based thoughts, and slowly I have tried to not reach out as much to allow for her to have space. If I do reach out, I make sure that they are all feelings of love and gratitude. It has been almost impossible on some days as she is on my mind 24/7, but I know I need to do what is right and not be selfish. I decided that I had to reach out at this moment and apologize for all the fear based thoughts that took me from her soulmate to someone she couldn’t recognize, her parter, teammate, best friend, and lover to someone she had to babysit and care for on a daily basis in fear of me doing something harmful to myself. I poured out some emotions and for one of the first times, I did it not for me to get a response from her, but for her to really feel it in her heart and hopefully allow her to feel love and appreciation and understand how special of a person she is. I felt some weight lifted off my shoulders to really send out a message that was purely from a place of love and not from a place of fear (fear of rejection, fear of no response, fear of not being loved back).
With tears in my eyes, I hit send and continued to reflect even deeper on my life and this idea of love and fear. I opened up my audible app on my iphone and while sitting on the park bench I listened to Marianne Williamson, again (I have re-listened to her lectures a few times, they are amazing). Here is a link to her website: www.marianne.com Marianne started talking about how we need to have this transformation in our internal operating system (our hearts, mind, and soul). We were born with love in our hearts, but due to our environment (the world we live in) we started to shift from Love to Fear. Instead of using our minds for what God intended, which was to be an extension of love, we instead judge, blame, attack, and focus on past/future instead of the now. A lot of us have started to think in an unnatural way, fear based, which becomes our norm. She continues to share that to become fully enlightened we must unlearn this fear based thought process and allow for love to shine through, and thus allowing miracles to become visible in our life.
While I was listening, I spaced into my own world that was full of fear based thoughts that constantly controlled my life. Most often these were fear based thoughts towards myself, example: “You are not good enough,” is one that often played in my head.
One of the ways Marianne suggests to change our world and our thinking is to create a toolbox full of methods to combat this fear based and unnatural thought process. One of her suggestions is to meditate daily and first thing in the morning. During this time of reflection she suggests:
- To send love to ourself, love to our loved ones, loved to those that we know are going through pain/hardship, and even love to those whom we might not like or they don’t like us.
- To ask God to give us the strength/ability to react to difficult situations with the following:
- “I can see this differently”
- “I could see peace instead of this.”
At this exact moment, I took off my headphones and I put my head down and I started to meditate/pray. I prayed that my family, KK, my kids, my friends, and even my ex all feel love today (the last one was not the easy). I then asked God to give me the strength to change my thought process when things don’t go as intended: “I can see peace instead of this,” and “I can see this situation from a different perspective,”
So much of the pain in this world, whether it be a horrifying act or some pain/disappointment in our own personal lives happens from living our life in Fear. So much pain and evil can be attributed to the way we feel and interact with others, when we do it with darkness in our hearts instead of love.
Do we showcase love, forgiveness, compassion, and kindness
Do we showcase fear, judgement, blame, and negativing.
I will not always win out on this process, but I do know that I am in the stages of transcending to a place of love (and actually meaning it). I am not perfect and I will never be perfect (something I always chased and would beat myself down mentally over not attaining). Understanding that perfection is impossible, but we do have the ability to give love and light to ourselves and in return to others, which can help relinquish the dark (fear) that lives within us and hopefully impact the people we cross paths with. We have the ability to attempt to live with love and when we fail, understand that we are not perfect and try it again.
Fear = Darkness & Love = light
“You cannot act in LOVE and act in FEAR at the same time. You must choose between them.”
Marianne Williamson will be speaking on Today while I am in NYC. I am hoping to get tickets to her event and I will surely (Thanks, but don’t call me surely. What is a serious blog post without an airplane quote) be sharing some more messages of what I have been learning from the “Course in Miracles,” and her teachings. Stay tuned if you enjoyed this blog post.
I went and listened to Marianne Williamson last night and she was absolutely amazing. What was crazy was that she used the Holocaust as an example when she talked about how people acted out of fear and out of evil. It was a very intense two hours of her teaching and then questions and answers where people shared their struggles with confidence, spirituality, cancer, relationships, and more. New York City is amazing, but this event just put the cherry on the top (or maybe the apple on the top).